Death By Comparison: 5 tips for breaking the habit of comparison and stepping into your own lane.


You see sis, she’s winning. Body goals, big ass house, fine ass man, constantly slaying all up and down your time line. Got you like God what do I have to do to get like HER?! This mindset plagues millions of women so trust me when I say you are not alone. I have my favorite social media influences whose page I stalk on the regular and I don’t even want to get started on how I feel about Queen Beyonce. Social media shines a huge light on the greatness of someone’s life, but hardly highlights the realness.

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Constant comparison is not only killing your creativity, it’s also killing the love you have for who you are. And honeyy - life is too short to not feel like you’re ALL of that. To truly live your best life, you need to be in your own lane.


5 Tips for breaking the habit of comparison & stepping into your own lane.

1. Know Yourself

Don’t get so caught up in trying to be like someone else that you lose track of who you are. The key to knowing self is having self awareness. If someone asked you to describe yourself in 3 words what words would you use? You are your own best friend, advocate and cheerleader. You should be spending at least one day with yourself a week. Get to know who you are with no distractions or influence from others.

2. Find Your Niche

How can you be in your own lane if you don’t even know what lane is yours? It’s common to see someone’s lifestyle and want the same thing for yourself. Keep in mind that everyone has their own season. Don’t miss out on your blessings by trying to create your own season at the wrong time. Yes it looks good over there, but continue to walk in faith while discovering yourself one step at a time. God knows where you’re headed and he will direct you. Find your thing and stay on the path destined for you.

Take the Find Your Niche course.

3. Improve

If you’re still stuck on having that life you’re comparing to then maybe we need to dig a little deeper. What is it that she has that you don’t? How can you improve your life in a way to match the level of success that you’re admiring? You should be constantly working to improve your life overall. However, if there is an area that you feel will enhance your life you should be constantly looking for ways to improve. If you’re dying to drive a nice car and live in a big house then you might need to improve your credit score so that level of success becomes possible.

4. Set Goals

In the rules of manifestation - what you put out is what you get back in. Also recognized as “the law of attraction” manifesting is using positive thoughts and energy to create your desired reality. To do so, you must focus on that desired reality through different methods such as meditation, visualization or mindful thinking/goal setting.

read related post: Manifesting Happiness

A common misconception of manifestation is that all you have to do it “hope for the best” and it happens - FALSE. A goal won’t work itself, real hard work and dedication is a requirement. Set intentional goals that are aligned with the life you want to experience, put in the work, hope for the best and watch it all unfold. God’s plan.

5. Love

Throughout this process the most important thing you need to do is love every version of yourself at every level. Don’t let your creativity or love for yourself die because you do have something special - it’s up to you to find it. Use self love affirmations as a daily reminder of your greatness. My favorite self love affirmations are: I am who I choose to be and I surround myself with opportunities for success and prosperity. I love who I’m becoming and I am grateful for the journey. Try them every morning and before bed - and remember to look in the mirror and smile at the beauty looking back!

With love ,



Hey my name is Deesha, CEO of She Elite.

She Elite is an organization designed to help women find balance and live a more mindful life.

Finding balance results in total well-being for better performance, better relationships and better health.

My organization focuses on mindfulness because it teaches us how to take control of our mind, body and surroundings to create that Elite lifestyle that we all desire.

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